The Thing About Sano
by CrazyJaney
Summary: (one-shot) did u ever wonder about sano? how he mangages to tick everyone off? wat really happens when he mooches? wat happens when he flirts with megumi? find all this out by reading! R&R!


A/N: hey people! yay! i can most likely update now! ok, this is somethin' me and Haru were talkin' about it Spanish, all the stuff Sano does. and wat he's doing if he's not doing something else. hee, hee, i hope u like it! luv ya lots!

The Thing About Sano

You see Sagara Sanosuke is your average nineteen year-old. He likes to drink, he likes to gamble. That's not all that makes him, him, though. Oh, no there are many things to cover. Like this kind of scenario.....

"Kitsune! Hey, how about you come over to my place tonight and I'll show you what a good time really i-" he never gets anymore than that out. Whether he gets less or up to that point, he never gets more.

SMACK>

"Tori Atama, you are so unbelievable! You ask me that everyday! Now take a hint and get lost!"

That is usually how his affairs with women go. As for gambling......

"Hey, Jou-chan!" uh-oh. Looks like Kenshin just told Kaoru how he really feels and things are heating up at the dojo. Just the time for a clueless moron to walk in.

"Jou-chan! Can I borrow some money for gambling?"

Whack!>

"Get lost tori atama! I'm busy!" she goes back to kissing Kenshin.

"But...." Kenshin then proceeds to unsheathe his sakabatou. He flips the blade and holds it to Sano's neck.

"Leave. Now."

That's how his asking for money to go gambling happens. Now let us talk about how he actually does when he gambles.

"Evens 6 and 2!" Sano calls out as the dice are thrown.

"Odds! 7 and 2!"

"Sano, pay up!" 'Sano hands over all the money Katsu oh so nicely loaned him for the millionth time.'

That is how the actual gambling goes. Now, onto drinking! Here we go, at the bar last week after everything that has happened so far.....

"Hit me bartender," Sano holds out his cup for the twenty-seventh time. To his right sit five jugs of sake, all consumed by none other than, Sagara Sanosuke.

"Are you sure you should drink this much?"

"Yes, dammit! Now hit me!" The bartender sighs and hits him with more sake. A beautiful woman walks by. Let us not forget that Sano is very intoxicated at the moment.

"Hey babe! I'd call you fox, but that name is reserved for my fox. Say you wanna come over-" again he is cut off.

Smack!>

"You lousy scum bag! You have a woman and now you're trying to cheat! Besides, you asked me that last week," with that she stalks off. Sano sighs.

"Hit me bartender."

That is how Sano's nights off drinking usually go. Now let's move on to when he finally leaves the bar at three o'clock in the morning. His place is too far and Kaoru's place is closer. Remember what I said about Kenshin and Kaoru? Right, well bear that in mind as you listen.

He stumbles drunkenly into the dojo and there's still a light on in Kaoru's room. In his drunk state, he thinks that something is wrong, especially since she's moaning. He thinks that maybe she's in pain. What an ass.

"Yo! Jou-chan! Are you okay....?" his question dies on his lips as he throws the shoji door open. Kenshin is immediately at his throat with the sakabatou's sharp edge again, while Kaoru tries to cover up.

"Leave. Now." Kenshin repeats for the second time. Sano nods and decides that his place isn't that far away.

Hee, hee. Now, let's talk about where he wakes up and the hangover. Fun!

Sano wakes up to a pounding headache. He holds his head and then rubs his temples. He looks around. It wasn't his room, or his apartment for that matter. Next to him lies a kid.

"Ahhhhhhh!" he yells, waking up everyone in the area.

"Shut up! Tori Atama! It's too fuc....." he looks at him funny, "Why are you in my room?"

"Listen punk, I don't know how I got in here but you better keep quiet about....."

"Sano's in my room! Busu! Busu! Kenshin! Kenshin! Tori Atama is in my room!" Yahiko yells.

"Leave. Now." The trusty sakabatou again. Sano leaves and Kenshin goes back into Kaoru's room.

With that out of the way, we're almost done. Ah, an interesting topic. His language.

"Fucking fuck! Goddamn it Jou-chan! All I was doing was coming to fucking eat! And you are fucking at my throat with that damned bokken!" I think that says it all.

Almost done now : Fighting. And why he does let people give him minor boo boos.

"You ain't so tough Zanza, see! I've already bruised you!"

"Whatever!" and he punches the guys lights out.

He then limps to the clinic, clutching his side as if in pain.

"Kitsune! Kitsune! You gotta help me! I'm dying!" he whines as he walks in.

"Sorry Sano-kun, it's her day off," Gensai tells him. He sighs and straightens up. He then walks off to mooch a free meal at the Akabeko.

Which brings us to the next item to talk about. Skipping out on his bills.

"Thanks for the meal, Tae," he says walking out, totally full. He is soon out of sight as Tae gasps and brings her hand to her mouth.

"He didn't pay again....."

Okay! Last topic! Eating!

"Jou-chan, please tell me you didn't cook."

"No, Kenshin did," she answers. Sano gives a sigh of relief and sits down.

"Dsh ish great stuff!" his says through a full mouth.

"Sano don't talk with you mouth full," Kaoru chides, "You'll choke."

"Yeah righ-" and he starts to choke.

"I told you." and she doesn't even move to help him as he pounds on his chest to get it down. After it passes, he starts to shovel the food down as fast as possible. Next to him, Yahiko is doing the same. It's as if they're in a race.

"Thanks for the meal Kenshin."

And that, in a nutshell, is Sagara Sanosuke for you. If he isn't eating, he's drinking. If he isn't drinking, he has a hangover. If he doesn't have a hangover, he's gambling. If he's not gambling, he's begging for money to gamble. If he's not begging, he's fighting. If he's not fighting, he's flirting. If he's not flirting, he's interrupting intimate moments between Kenshin and Kaoru. The cycle could go on forever. You just need to think about all t he stuff he does.

Owari.

A/N: i hope u liked it! i thought it was pretty funny myself, but that's cuz i wrote it! ok, luv ya lots! plz review! Plz!!!!!


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